BOMBAY – Just when adult film director Skidley Rott thought he had a handle on everything he needed to capture for his upcoming scientifically-correct gonzo release Doin’ It Froggy Style, science overturned the apple cart.

Always in search of special inspiration to give his movies an added edge, Rott recently combed through a trove of information on exotic sexual positions and techniques, including many that are common not only among Rott’s fellow bipeds, but quadrupedal species as well.

In the course of his research, Rott thought he had found an ideal framework for a new pornographic concept: an adult video featuring scenes based on the reproductive habits of frogs.

“It all started with a title concept that was sort of half-serious,” Rott said. “I knew I couldn’t make a movie called Anal Amphibians in a literal sense, in part due to concerns over being prosecuted on obscenity charges, but also because I have no idea how to locate a frog’s butthole, much less any experience putting my penis inside of one.”

In lieu of filming frogs fucking and fellating, Rott figured the next best thing would be to mimic Anuran sexual behaviors and positions using human performers, a task that didn’t strike the veteran porn director as particularly daunting.

“As it turns out, even though there’s thousands of species of frogs, they only have sex in six different positions,” Rott said. “We go through more than that in the first 12 minutes of the average scene for my MILF Irritator series, so I figured shooting this movie would be a piece of cake. Boy, was I wrong.”

After shooting six short vignettes, one for each position used by frogs in the real world, Rott was well into editing and post production when his longtime production assistant Scotty “Rugburn” Withers forwarded a link to an article that shook up Rott’s plan like an indecent snow globe.

“Skid practically spit up his entire cup of coffee when he saw the news about this new froggy sex position called the ‘dorsal straddle,’” Withers said. “We knew about ‘reverse cowfrog,’ the dreaded ‘leapfrog,’ the female-friendly ‘frog-spoon’ and the adventurous ‘inverted camel frog,’ but this dorsal thing just came out of nowhere.”

Always the perfectionist who insists on total authenticity, Rott wasn’t satisfied to simply read about the newly discovered frog-sex position. He had to go to India to see it for himself.

“On top of being the culture that brought us the Kama Sutra and Bollywood erotica, India also happens to be home to the Bombay night frog, the critter the innovated the dorsal straddle,” Rott said. “You gotta hand it to those horny little bastards. I’ve been fucking and filming for almost 40 years now, and I’ve never once come up with a new sexual position — although falling asleep beneath my wife with my head hanging off the side of the couch comes pretty close, I guess.”

In order to cement the position in their minds, Rott brought along with him to India performers Rick Rigid and Sasha McTush, who will be responsible for imitating the night frog’s coital routine on camera. While both performers said they will dutifully reproduce the position to the best of their abilities, they seemed divided on the question of how difficult the scene may prove to be.

“It’s easy for Rick to be all gung ho about doing this scene,” McTush said. “But he’s not the one who’s going to be on all fours, without even getting penetrated or stimulated in any way, just waiting until some fat, hairy bastard finishes thrusting uselessly and shoots spunk all over her back.”

While Rigid said he’s “greatly looking forward” to shooting the scene, he didn’t seem to fully grasp the endeavor he’s soon to undertake.

“I’ve never fucked a French girl before, so this should be interesting,” Rigid said. “Why do they call them ‘frogs,’ anyway? Are their pussies really cold, or something? Do they spend a lot of time in the water? Wait — I love working with Sasha and all, but is ‘McTush’ even a French name? Maybe I’m not looking forward to this after all.”